Civil Service on ball re negotiations with rEU.

It looks like our UK Civil Service is on the ball when it comes to preparing for the leave vote.  Apparently this draft letter is ready to be sent once the result is through.

“Dear President Juncker

You will have noted that the people of the UK decided that what you said 14^th of October 2015 “personally I don’t think that Britain needs the European Union”,  was indeed the truth.  The UK doesn’t need the EU.  So they have voted to leave the political union.

Now I know that we have to tie up some loose ends so here are some thoughts to help us on our way.

Money.  We send you money.  You in return send us money.  So as of today I think we should stop this and here is the easiest way to do so.  First of all we will simply end our standing order to you.  And you, in turn, will cease, as of today, to fund any of the programmes that you currently support in the UK.  But the projects you support don’t need to worry.  With the money we will be saving by not sending it to you, we will fund each of these programmes in their entirety as from today.  This will of course still leave us with quite a bit of a surplus which our UK elected parliament can decide how to use.

Trade.  This really is an easy one.  We both know it is not in the interests of anyone in Reminder EU (let’s call it rEU) to have any problems here.  I’m sure that Angela in particular will not be looking to going into elections in her own country facing uproar because you have imposed tariffs on UK goods coming in to rEU.  You know that we will just retaliate and the German car manufactures will be furious their most profitable market is being decimated.

Laws and workers rights.  Really, there is nothing to negotiate here as our parliament is now back fully in charge of making our own laws.  But I would like an assurance from you that all the excellent laws that you now call your own, though in fact they came from our parliament originally, will continue to be enacted by the rEU. 

Defence and security.  We know intergovernmental relations will continue as before.  Our people will support yours as yours will support ours.  Makes sense.

There are a few other things we can tie up in the next few weeks.  But this idea it will take two years, no, I don’t think so.  You in rEU need the freedom to get on with your project just as we need to get on with re-engaging with the world which has left the rEU way behind.

Best wishes

(Insert name of next UK Prime Minister)